If love is that simple, how good would it be....

I need a reset button, I need a time machine. If control + Z does work in reality, how good would it be to rectify my mistakes...

Shows and real life are always opposite... The good guys in show always win... But in reality the bad guys always get what they want, the good ones always get hurt in the end, or do I need to be an actor who isn't me totally to get what I want...?

People said that good guys doesn't exist in this world anymore, I said that they said that because good guys are always invisible to them. They don't know how much the good guys went through for them, they can't see it nor feel it because they are already been blinded by 'love' that the bad guys gave.

Yes.... I don't know how to explain my thoughts well. That's why you don't understand me. But even if I tell you... What's the use? You don't know what I know about, and how I felt. You are just too naive... Nothing changed, in the end the expression I gave was that I am the bad guy when I was trying to care and protect you. Yeah... life sucks, I am tired... Tired of being too good to people. In the end what I get was all the shit treatments.

Maybe this is human, they just like to live in their lies, and not to face the reality, facts, and what makes you so sure that he changed when he didn't even went through anything, from my point of view, he hasn't change at all. His doings are all the same, and I can see everything's the same, the pattern is totally the same! You said that people can change and pointed out that I have changed. Yeah, I went through a lot of shits, I realised it the problems and changed after knowing and admitting my mistakes, but it was all too late. But well... I learnt from my mistakes now. And thanks for letting me know how immature was I in the past, always depending on others, don't know how to care for girls, and my actions and thoughts.

I don't hate or angry you, nor him. Because I know it's meaningless to do it, it will only hurts me and you more and I want to stop that pain. Maybe being only friend is the best way for us, and becoming a total stranger from once a very close friend is also better for me.... So sorry that he couldn't be my friend because I can't trust him anymore. I know that you wouldn't read this, or know about this. But I just want to find a place where I can vent out all my feelings and thoughts here....

Now I am just another loner who you don't even notice. To you, I am just an invisible air.

I don't even know what I want myself to be now. I want to change myself totally... But if I do, that's not me