Tuesday, October 18, 2011
从妳的眼角 慢慢地明了
我能做的很少
原来妳藏着伤 但不想和我聊
妳选的电影 像某种预告
不坦白的主角
最后流着眼泪 坚持独自走掉
散场的拥抱 我还在燃烧
但妳心里的浪潮 拒绝让我看到
妳煎熬 不肯定什么是最想要
爱才又像乐园又像监牢
散场的拥抱 混乱的心跳
多宁愿只是争吵 还能道歉和好
我知道 妳留着和他所有合照
明明面前是答案 却撕掉 不要
呵护地祈祷 温柔地讨好
爱能让人渺小
苦笑冒充微笑 浪漫得不肯逃
散场的拥抱 我还在燃烧
但妳心里的浪潮 拒绝让我看到
妳煎熬 不肯定什么是最想要
爱才又像乐园又像监牢
散场的拥抱 混乱的心跳
多宁愿只是争吵 还能道歉和好
我知道 我们和你们不能比较
但我的爱多强悍 出乎妳预料
散场的拥抱 我还在燃烧
但妳心里的浪潮 拒绝让我看到
妳煎熬 不肯定什么是最想要
爱才又像乐园又像监牢
散场的拥抱 混乱的心跳
多宁愿只是争吵 还能道歉和好
我知道 太美的回忆像副手铐
越是挣脱越缠绕 我比妳明了
I am currently so addicted to this song. I have being repeating to this song for damn long already!
The song is emooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo genre type! (Y)
The lyrics are so meaningful. The MV also nice! I can imagine how I would feel if I am also in this situation as this guy. The feeling would be just sucks knowing that your another half actually still harbours for his/her ex. I would do the same thing as what he did in the MV I guess. Yepppp. And that's all about today, Good night!
It's being long since I last blog! The previous entry I wasn't even a soldier yet! And now I have being POP as a recruit, and is currently going for Specialist course. Specialist course is er.... Sergeant? WTH, I didn't even really want to be a Sergeant in the first place. Lol.
Okay.
Let's talk about these few months.
NS BMT Life (yea it sucks)
-----------
Week 0 - 2 - Confinement Week
Basically, these weeks are kinda slack, but the trainings are quite tough to me because I didn't do much physical training for like... 3 years? So it was like a killer for me. And what worse is that I have being living on an unhealthy lifestyle for 2-3 years clubbing and drinking.
These 2 weeks, it was like all 'trying-to-adapt-to-NS-life-stage' and I was doing a lot of reflection every night during admin time about what I had did in the past year and months and weeks. After the 2 weekend confinement, or rather 17 days confinement, I was released from this hell! I wanted to party so badly. So of course....
And oh yea, I spent my 21st birthday in Tekong, and I got a birthday present from my ORD-ed Sergeant, 20 push up. The first guy and only guy in my platoon who got pumped individually by him. LOLOL. I was pumped because I was moving around when we susposedly to stand still in a file and well, he caught me.
Week 3 - 8 - Depressing stage
Well, in my whole platoon. After I put in so much efforts in training to break my 0 for my pull up, I was still a 0 fighter. Seeing a lot of my platoon mate managed to break their 0, and left like me and 3 others still a zero fighter in the whole platoon, I was feeling quite depressed. Some more 2 of the 3 others are the 'obese' one and so it's quite expected that they are 0 fighter. So I felt so sucky! But I still keep on trying on the week 8 and put in a lot more effort every night, breaking my own endurance level every night, even some of my platoon mates also were like @.@ when they see how much effort I put.
Week 9 - 13 - Soldier stage
I finally managed to break my 0 at week 9, that was like last week of PTP stage. And I managed to do max 3 pull up. Still lack of 3 to pass. Lol. Straight jump from 0 - 3 pull up in a week, I see the effort being put in. Thanks to my OC to tell us to go online search for guides on how to train pull up. I realised that my method of doing pull up was wrong, like what my platoon mates told me. My posture all those was weird and I went online and search and did the correct posture and I finally broke my 0 instantly!
I also had my Field Camp and SIT test. Both outfield. Well, before SIT test, I was a recruit without any goals. I want to down PES, I want a slack life. I never want to chiong for Sergeant or Officer or what. I just want to down PES. After Field Camp, and probably was the case of breaking my 0 pull up. I am anything, even if they give me become Sergeant or Officer, I just accept it. Unless they ask me to be some rifleman....
Field Camp was damn tough, I didn't cry like most of my platoon mates did during the exercise meal run. I just tahan the way and do what we are told to do. I 'fucked' my platoon and got piss because of a lot of my platoon mate selfish-ness. I shouted at them because most of them aren't being cooperative during the field camp and sabotage all of us kanna tekan. So what if they are shag, come on all of us are shag, me, you, us are. But I, considered a below average one when I first came in could manage to tahan; I can have the mental endurance to tahan why others can't. They think they are privileged when they are shag, wtf. Piss off totally.
After the field camp, my other garang platoon mates was like 'wah, Sky changed a lot sia, more and more UPS liao sia!' and when my Platoon Sergeant was like shooting me something like I am also one of the people like who doesn't put in any effort, those of my platoon mate put up words for me and my Platoon Sergeant was like 'really meh?' lol.
A lot of things happened during the field camp, it was a shag and memorable one, but definitely I won't want to go through another one like this.
SIT test was also one of these weeks, I didn't really want to chiong to go into command school. So I didn't really perform. Hmmm... One incident happened during this is that on the 2nd day of our SIT test, we were forced to do field cooking, cook instant noodles. I don't feel like cooking and eating so I gave my buddy 2 packets of mine since he didn't bring his as he wants to 'cut corner' by reducing the weight for the route march.
And then when we were doing our field cooking, I helped some of my section mates set up their fire and so and so, I ate my own green pack rations and they ate the instant noodle, in the end none of them wants to throw their rubbish. They all just leave it on floor, some even left. (oh I forgot to mention that my platoon is a lot of selfish people, and especially in my section there's a lot of SELFISH people) and I was like WTF. I already planned to keep my own rubbish and threw myself later on and the rest just leave it there and 'you-look-at-me-i-look-at-you-no-one-throw' situation. So I was the one who initiate 'aiya just dig a hole and dump all these rubbish inside' and I carried out the job. Then the next day, our company Sergeant Major found the rubbish and he tekan the whole company! LOL! Then my platoon sergeant caught me because of the instant noodle packet with my 4D number which I gave my buddy. FOOKED! I got fucked by my Platoon Sergeant after the SIT test.
Well, I didn't want to bao tou any of my section mates, because I know it's meaningless. I bao tou all also tio, I don't bao tou only I tio, also the same. No difference, I just tank all. My platoon sergeant named me as the 'Leader of the wolves pack' and gave me punishments and ask me to keep the rubbishes which they retrieved during the SIT test with me till the day I POP. LOLOL! And I must carry it with me whenever I go. I just suck it up and do, although in my heart I know those rubbishes isn't mine at all, I am just the one giving my solution to those selfish bastards and I kanna. What's worse is that some of them didn't feel guilty and apologise to me, only 3 of them did, but the other 2 of my section mates involved didn't... But that doesn't really matters anymore because I don't give a damn.
Week 14 - 16 - Xia Lan Stage
I became more and more xia lan! Lol. I keep scolding people in my platoon. Saying them don't be selfish and sabotaging my section mates and platoon mates. Of course jokingly manner sabotaging and scolding. And we get laughters from it. It's damn funny to sabotage each other in front of our commanders. We know that we are going to POP soon and all the high key events are over. So we were like playing playing and playing with each other. Recieving punishments from our commanders was like a joke to us already. We enjoyed those corporal punishments. It's like 'Sergeant! See some people still don't know how to BLABLA, I think we should all knock it down together!' and then we recieve the punishment! HAHAHHA. Funny eh.
Week 17 - Graduation
Last week, POP week. We were like doing drills on Graduation Parade. On this week, we managed to become the best company in School 4. We didn't expect to win 5th Coy, which is the most xiong company in whole Tekong! Hmm... but well that doesn't really matters to me. Lol.
So during the drills, we were like dissing at the Regimental Sergeant Major amongst ourselves. It was like a suffering stage. Especially on the first day, when the sun was damn strong and hot, a lot of people fall out!
On Friday night, we have our 24 km route march. But ends up to be 18.5 km route march. Quite disappointed because I want a 24 km route march! We march all the way from Singapore Ferry Terminal at Changi to somewhere further up of East Coast Park.
Throughout the marching, I wasn't feeling any shagness. My platoon was like 'wtf how Sky did that' because most of them are feeling so damn shag. Even my commanders were also shag but I am not feeling any of it. During rest time I was even volunteering to help stuffs and not getting much rest of it. During the march I was like happily singing Chinese songs and some R&B songs and talking cock to my platoon commander and my buddy and 2 other platoon mates. Throughout the journey, I was like laughing and not thinking of the shagness. And it was like very fast one point to another point!
Then after the 18.5 km point route march, we got deported to our end point because we ran out of time due to the poor coordinating of the event managements. We did our POP and we are no longer a recruit! And we have our, 1 week block leave! That means 9 days of civilian life! Woot!
During the 9 days of civilian life, which was last week, I spend most of my days rotting at home. I went to Genting with my platoon mate on Wednesday night to Saturday afternoon.
I shared the same room as my BMT buddy. During Genting, I got sick; I got pissed and I lost RM300 in gambling Baccarat. I don't know how I got sick, but I was sicked on Friday night. I was having diarrhea, fever, stomach cramp, headache, running nose and sore throat. I was pissed by my buddy because he has no brain like he always is. He is a blur cock, after BMT, he grew from a baby to a small boy only!
He don't know how to take care of a sick person is alright, but well, not only that. He fucked up. He doesn't have the brain to think. I was like lying on my bed, or susposedly sleeping. He wake me up and mumble to me like I could hear anything. And then it was like 'are you aslept?' question all those. Wtf. It isn't just one time but a few times. Come on, I am sick and is resting, he still wants me to entertain him. And then our phone rang a few time, he is afraid of picking up the phone when
1. He is nearer to the phone
2. He is not sick and I am covering myself with blanket due to the cold temperature and fever I am having
3. He is on sitting posture while I am on resting lying down on bed trying to get some sleep posture
4. He is fully awake and while I am half slept
and he woke me up just to pick up the phone! WTF? I was like really WTF!? I damn pissed off and ask him to pick up then he say he scare and don't want to pick up. Then fine we didn't pick up. Come on I'm sick and need some rest!
Okay that's fine. Then I was suddenly having sharp pain at my stomach, and my buddy kept asking if I am alright, then we try to find medicine for me or so, but he couldn't find. Okay.... Then he came back to the room and jump onto bed and kick me on my groin and stomach area and laughing, like he's playing. I was like WTF and straight away pissed off and bark at him. I bark at him no brain and so. I don't know why he don't know when to get serious, I am already sick and feeling sharp pain in my stomach and he wants me to entertain him and I damn dulan when he kick and I felt greater pain. Then he was like feeling damn guilty and keep apologising to me.
After that okay, he still pisses me. I ask him to go toilet as he has running nose to fix it. And he was like 'I am scare, accompany me go leh' I was like WTF. It's not like in Tekong, the toilet some more so near. You don't even need to close the door, just go inside and fix your running nose. And he ends up scare and doesn't want to fix his running nose.
This isn't the last thing that pisses me off. The last thing is that he keep telling me that he wants to change when he become a commander, and now he's posted to Specialist also, to become a Sergeant. Then he still not changing. He still damn scare to off the lights and TV to go to sleep. I was like WTF. I tell him off. The previous day nothing happened also, why today want to on. Some more the lights damn bright and directly on top of us, why don't want off. Why so scare? Then he told me he isn't scare at all, I keep questioning him 'THEN?' he couldn't really reply then say never mind. Then he keep 'wait la wait la' don't want close the light to sleep, I damn pissed off. Just as I wanted to walk off the room he then 'ok la ok la' then he off the light and TV. Damn fucked up, I already sick and dying and he still do so many stunts.
So until today, I am still sick, and I went to CGH on Sunday to see doctor and got MC till 18th! That's why I am still here instead of being at Pasir Laba Camp now!
Monday, June 6, 2011
如果有一天
I still can feel the feeling of whatever I had on those days upon reading it. But whenever I read finishes each day conversation, I get disappointed upon knowing the fact that you're already no longer mine.
So, yep. No more reading!
Songs are good to express one's mood and the lyrics are good to express one's thought.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Secret - I'm gonna give all my secrets away
As time goes by...
Uncertain about a lot of things in my life.
I don't know what I want to do, what I want, what I expect, what I am anymore. I can't seems to sense myself sometimes.
You build those reminiscing memories for me; And at the same time you also build a wall in me without me realising it.
I shouldn't take things so serious back then.
And when you slammed the front door shut, a lot of others opened up
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Slept at around 8 am plus! Then woke up 1130 am! Then went to prepare to go out! Around 12 noon Ju Xian reach my house downstairs.
Then he drove us to Hougang to pick Fengzhu then Mathew up then went to somewhere at Outram park to eat curry rice. We ordered quite a lot of things and the total bill was $21. Quite cheap sia!
Ju Xian then drove me to Ubi to take my FTT! My FTT starts at 2 pm! I went in 10 minutes and came out with a pass! Hahaha! This is the 2nd time I pass my FTT already! My previous FTT expired on late March and I had to re-take my FTT again before I can rebook my TP :(
After that took bus 87 back to Sengkang and walked home! Reach home and get online then sleep for an hour. Woke up then shortly after that Cheukman drove us to Compass Point for dinner! Had KFC for dinner! Then we went IKEA as Xie Chao wants to buy pillow.
Then went back Sengkang, we went to the new Floating Platform there around the Sports Complex there and explore around. After that went Desmond house downstair slack awhile more then drove off to MBS outside nearby, then at there slack awhile and went home!
I am damnnnnnnnnnn tired now! Now going to play DOTA 1 round with Ju Xian then going to sleep already!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Woke up around 1 pm and took snoozes till 1.40 pm then went to prepare to go City Hall to accompany Kenneth. Accompany him to listen to some AIA's saving scheme at 3 pm and he's like really into the saving scheme and did 1/2 of the sign up process already.
After that we went Marina Square played 2 rounds of Daytona then went walk walk around. Then went Macdonald and had my McGrill meal. After that we went off around 5.30 pm since he's meeting his friends for some birthday celebration at Town while I also meeting Eunice for dinner.
So I went to Dhoby Ghaut and slack around the arcades since I just need a place to sit as my legs are really tired from yesterday NAPFA Waited for an hour plus for her to reach Dhoby Ghaut. Celine arrived shortly after we met up. Then we went Ajisen and had dinner.
After dinner took train back home just to shit! Then meet up with Cheukman and we went to Changi Airport to pick our Mao Xie Chao! Then we went to his new place at some condominium at Rivervale Link, somewhere near North Vista Secondary School. Waited for him to put his stuffs back home then after that we explore explore around his condominium and facilities; sucky facilities.
Then we went to Serangoon Garden and had supper, had Hokkien Prawn Noodle with Cheukman and we went home after that! Damn tired!
So, this 2 days I will be quite tight. Later on I will be going to Serangoon to meet up with Jian Rong for lunch and take his Advanced Theory Book for Driving and read through it and get the sgtest program from Cheukman to tryout the questions to prepare for my FTT. Then after Serangoon will be going to Compass Point to buy some equipments for NAPFA trainings, and accompany Xie Chao to buy his bed sheets and etc. After that will be home to study study study and have dinner, short nap then at night - Clubbing!
Okay. I should rest earlier today, so freaking tired and pack! But the night is still young.... So don't know if I got the feel to sleep or not!
I realised I still miss.... Why? There must be something wrong with me.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Slept around 7 am plus. Woke up at 2 pm to accompany Cheukman go ICA extend his passport! I went ICA like 3 times this year! Most probably need to go fourth time just for some lame oath taking things.
After that went Bugis and had 'lunch' then went Illuma and get KOI. Deon met up with us shortly after that then went Illuma arcade awhile. After that then accompany Deon eat dinner.
We then walked around Bugis awhile more then took bus to Grand Cathay and watch movie. We watched Hall Pass. The show is nice, and it's very funny. After that we took train home.
My NS enlistment date is on 8th June! 9.45 am! Sian! I want chiong my NAPFA already so can no need go for PTP and save another 2 months! I already starting to train for my standing board jump and pull up already! Haha. I don't want to get enlisted before my 21st birthday! So I need to really work hard for my NAPFA and get silver before my birthday arrive!
Oh... And I am going to have my FTT on this Thursday 2 pm! Hope I can pass if not I guess I won't get my driving license already! :( I still haven't study for my FTT and I don't have the Advanced Theory book! Shit! I need to borrow from someone on Wednesday and read up, and get Cheukman to send me the e-trial program since I lost mine!
Well, I need to get to bed soon! Later still need to go City Hall and meet up with Kenneth Chung to accompany him listen to some banking deposit talks! Lol! Quite tired and now I can hardly walk after I did some training for my standing board jump! It's like not much strength to walk or even stand up! :/
Good night, my blog! :)
Monday, April 18, 2011
Tuesday - Prawning @ Bishan
Wednesday - Phuture
Friday - Rebel
Saturday - Powerhouse
Monday went Timbre with Gao Hui to find Deon, had a really hard time of getting to the place. I got a bit pissed off when I asked Deon how to spell 'Peranakan' and he keep telling me Fort Tunnel, ends up me an Gao Hui walk like a damn big round just to get to the Peranakan Museum. The big round is like City Hall MRT station to Dhoby Ghaut then back to somewhere near City Hall again. Drink and drink at there.
Tuesday went Prawning at midnight with Cheukman, Shimin, Jian Rong and Deon. Felt quite bad to make all of them to wait for me 1 hour like that before we went prawning as I was watching some Funshion movie and I don't want to stop halfway! Okay... I managed to caught my first 3 prawns that night within like 1/2 hour! Not bad ah?
Went 3 different clubs, on 3 different days, in a single week.
Phuture is still okay. But the dance floor is still that squeezy and the songs are kinda... Rebel is great, with all the great songs. I think Rebel's DJ is the best! Not only that, it's also quite a night when I came to knew something! The feeling is.... HAH! Powerhouse is like.... BORING! Dancefloor squeezy, everywhere squeezy. Some more the songs is like -.-" DJ Kzee is too overrated. His mix isn't that good at all. Seriously there's like almost an hour of some crap electro, brazilian language R&B songs which turns the crowd off when it's being broadcasted. There are like so many nice songs out there, why choose those brazilian songs -.- 1 or 2 is still fine, but it's like being broadcast like 1 hour! It's a damn boring night.
What's this feeling in me now? I don't know.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
周筆暢 Bibi Chow《I Miss U Missing Me》MV
Someone told me you found somebody
Found somebody new
I'm happy for you
Maybe that's why I don't hear from you
Like I used to like a faded photograph
Our moment's in the past
But sometimes, sometimes
I miss you missing me
Calling me on the phone
Asking me how I'm doing
Asking if I'm alone
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
Guess you won't be asking 'bout me when you see my friends
Guess that had to end
I won't be hearing what you've been up to
Like I used to
Had our time
Our time has passed
No there's no going back
But sometimes, sometimes
I miss you missing me
Calling me on the phone
Asking me how I'm doing
Asking if I'm alone
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
When someone calls me up at night
I hold my breath, I close my eyes
I wait and hope and pray it will be you
Calling me on the phone
Asking me how I'm doing
Asking if I'm alone
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you missing me
She won't miss me... 5th of the month had finally past. I bet she don't even remember this particular date like always, but I'll still remember every month when this date comes. Whatever it is, I should be happy for her.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I think in the past, I like to crap more than nowadays although nowadays I still do craps a lot!
Nowadays my mood isn't that good. A lot of unpleasant stuffs happened. I want to get back on to my life!